Finding Shallow Water
After my bike ride this morning, I sat at my desk eating a bowl of soup, enjoying my favorite playlist. Maybe it’s the endorphins, but I feel terrific. And it’s been like this for awhile now. When I looked at the date — December 2, 2023 — I realized that this weekend marks my fourth anniversary of completing The Hoffman Process.
December 2019
Having a chat with Santa at Hoffman Process
A series of difficult events unfolded for me in 2019. A five-year relationship concluded. My startup’s business model and team went through a radical restructuring about 6 months after a big push into the New York City market. I was deeply challenged by my family dynamic. When I needed love and support more than any other time in my life, my mom declared to me in a phone call that I was not the daughter she wanted. The darkness enveloped me.
This took an intense physical and emotional toll. I lost 30 pounds without trying. I had next to no brainpower for much of anything. I managed to keep my executive functioning intact and delivered my highest-ever revenue quarter as a CEO, but I was mostly in distress.
Hoffman Process is typically run in a 30–40 person cohort with 5 instructors managing small groups of 6–8 people. The program attracts a variety of ages, races, and occupations, but your IRL identity is strictly anonymous until the end of the week. There’s no access to news flow from the outside world since your devices are taken away. Every aspect of the week-long experience is continuously refined, but includes healthy meals and snacks, and a mix of individual time, writing exercises, games, lessons, and small group activities. Most of “the work” is emotionally exhausting and some of it is also physically exhausting.
Like many who end up enrolled for this intense week of introspection, it felt like my life depended on this programming. I needed a lifeline.
My time at Hoffman was a major self-investment, and the beginning of my lifelong commitment to leveling up. Four years later, I think it’s worth memorializing how things have improved for me.
I finished Hoffman Process on December 6, 2019
Of all the education I’ve had in life, this was definitely the most impactful
Fifteen reflections, four-years post Hoffman Process
I have learned the value of managing my own limited energy.
I have accepted that past trauma significantly impacts my ability to give as much as other people are able. I also know the downside of taking on too much.
I have fine-tuned my process for proactively self-resourcing ahead of important events and conversations so that I can show up at my best. I also know that certain things will deplete me and I give myself permission to lean into rest and restoration so I can come back to a recharged baseline.
The ways I have been stretched in the past show me that I will survive difficult times.
I’ve learned that taking care of my body is a form of self-respect and a necessary part of living well.
I’m still working on receiving and taking action from messages in my body.
The more I learn to listen to myself, the better my intuition gets.
Laughter flows more readily.
There’s newfound appreciation for nature.
I am ok with relationships that look different through different seasons of life. I am reflective about how being in the presence of different people makes me feel.
I go to embodiment, primarily through music and dance, to express my feelings.
I am happy with how things are right now.
I see that slower seasons provide opportunities to reflect deeply and gain insights.
I am committed to continuously expanding my capacity for self-love.
I’ve been a witness to my own growth and I feel tremendous gratitude for the personal evolution that has unfolded.